23 God, examine me and know my heart, test me and know my concerns.

24 Make sure that I am not on my way to ruin, and guide me on the road of eternity.

*Psalm 139.23-24 (NJB)

The Psalmist speaks directly to God. The request is like our Prayer of Examen. I will refer back to that, after I clarify the Psalm 119 selection for today.

After the direct address, "God," the song speaks of several requests. I take each in turn.

1) Examine me.

The King James Version has "Search me." The Hebrew Bible has charqar, which means, "to search, search out, investigate." The same word was used in verse 1: "Yahweh, you examine me and know me" (NJB).

2) Know my heart.

"Know" is the most used word-equivalent in the Old Testament to the English "know." This word, yada, appears several times in Psalm 139; it accompanies, as here, "examine" in verse 1.

"Heart" is the Hebrew lebab. The "heart" in the Old Testament refers to what we mean by "heart" - as affective center - and "mind" - as thought center. We can read this request, "Know what is inside me," and this can include thoughts and feelings.

3) Test me.

Bachan, the word for "test" means "to try, prove, test." This appears not to be a request for a trial, in the sense of a problem to test the Psalmist. Rather, the term appears to show a desire for close scrutiny; the Psalmist is saying, "I have nothing to hide. Just check it out."

4) Know my concerns [better, thoughts or opinions].

"Know" is, again, yada. And "concerns" renders the Hebrew sarappim, meaning "doubts, opinions." Some translations render in light of the meaning "doubt": "anxious thoughts" (NCV; NLT); "concerns" (HCSB); the ESV follows the KJV with "thoughts," but offers the alternative "cares." Here, the better rendering is "thoughts, opinions," as indicated by the context and intent of the petition for examination regarding sin.

5) Make sure that I am not on my way to ruin.

The KJV has "wicked way" for "way to ruin." The Hebrew is otseb. The adjective appears only four times in the Bible and only here is it rendered "wicked" in the KJV. Literally, the word means "a grievous thing," and, so, the KJV renders it in one place "idol." The other two occasions it reads "sorrow." The usual word for "wicked" is used already in Psalm 139, in verse 19. Here the NJB renders the term well: "to ruin." But the HCSB offers a possible rendition and alternative: it has "offensive," with the alternative "idolatrous."

6) Guide me on the road of eternity [better, everlasting].

The idea of "eternity" in the Old Testament does not include our idea of transcending time, space, ... Rather, olam can mean something like "on and one, into the distant unknown." So, the rendition "everlasting," with its on-going linear aspect is a better reading. This couples well with the previous petition. The Psalmist does not want to be living a life that is headed toward a dismal end, the fruit of which would be resultant of the bad seeds of his life choices and developed character.

The above verses clarify what we mean by Prayer of Examen. Or, we could call it Prayer of Examination.

In his treatment of this Prayer, Richard J. Foster, in his Prayer, observes "examen" comes from the Latin and alludes to the tongue, or weight indicator, on a balance scale; thus, "the idea of an accurate assessment of the true situation."

Foster gives two aspects of the Prayer of Examen. First, examen of consciousness. We reflect on how God had been present in our lives this day - traditionally this Prayer is at the end of the day - and how we responded to such loving presence.

Second, examen of conscience. Here, we are open to discern what areas of our life were evidenced during the day to need cleansing and healing.

In the examen of consciousness, we grow to see more clearly and be more aware daily of how God is present to, in, and through us. This examen gives us opportunity to give thanks and praise.

In the examen of conscience, we grow to be more clear about areas of pride, rebelliousness, willfulness, disobedience, and woundedness that need healing. This time offers us a chance to confess both the areas needing healing and cleansing and pray specifically for grace for this to happen.

First, pray for the Holy Spirit to be the One who illumines what you need to see. This is not about putting forth a lot of effort, but more about being receptive to what God brings to light.

Next, do an examen of how God was present through the day. In what ways did you sense God present in or around you? How did you respond?

Third, what happened during the day to confirm an area that needs confession, cleansing, and healing? Pray about those areas. Do not judge yourself critically. Remember to be honest with yourself and God, but lovingly honest.

Last, you may wish to end the prayer with thanksgiving for how God was present through the day and for how God is healing you through His mercy and grace. Grace!

Peace!

Brian K. Wilcox
Ordained Pastor, Christ Community UMC, Punta Gorda, FL
Ordained Oblate, Greenbough House of Prayer

*Wednesday, January 28, 2009

*Hebrew word treatments derive from Young's Analytical Concordance.

*Charitable contributions would be appreciated to assist Brian in continuing his ministry. For contributions, contact Brian at barukhattah@embarqmail.com .

*Brian's book of spiritual love poetry, An Ache for Union: Oneness with God through Love, can be ordered through major booksellers or the Cokesbury on-line store, cokesbury.com .

*Brian K. Wilcox, a United Methodist Pastor, lives in Southwest Florida. He is a vowed member of Greenbough House of Prayer, a contemplative Christian community in South Georgia. He lives a contemplative life and seeks to inspire others to enjoy a more intimate relationship with Christ. Brian advocates for a spiritually-focused, experiential Christianity and renewal of the Church through addressing the deeper spiritual needs and longings of persons.